Faszanrak is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental cobra.

Faszanrak created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Faszanrak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Faszanrak, he will turn you into a tree.

Faszanrak's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Faszanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Hide from brown badgers for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Feed all hungry whales.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.