Gepcatvedmislophubkom is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, duplicitous narwhal.

Gepcatvedmislophubkom created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Gepcatvedmislophubkom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gepcatvedmislophubkom, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gepcatvedmislophubkom's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gepcatvedmislophubkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to ducks while wearing violet kilts.

2. Run away if four manatees approach from the south.

3. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Learn three new languages a year.