Homquatlat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, confident hyena.

Homquatlat created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Homquatlat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Homquatlat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Homquatlat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Homquatlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Homquatlat loves swans, so they must be honoured.

5. Fast once a month.