Cetmumfed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witty horse.

Cetmumfed created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmumfed, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cetmumfed, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cetmumfed's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cetmumfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing black coats.

5. Never talk about fire.