Pomcatgar is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy seal.

Pomcatgar created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomcatgar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pomcatgar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Pomcatgar's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Pomcatgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing black trousers.

4. Run away if three squirrels approach from the south.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.