Flagnanvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage goose.

Flagnanvonk created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagnanvonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flagnanvonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flagnanvonk's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Flagnanvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.