Labriptin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, temperamental parrot.

Labriptin created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Labriptin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labriptin, it will turn you into a snail.

Labriptin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Labriptin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Learn four new languages a year.