Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless seal.

Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin, she will turn you into a rat.

Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ponzodwapbastfagbaddin's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide from mauve frogs for they are unholy.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.