Ontrillik is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome manatee.

Ontrillik created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontrillik, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ontrillik, he will come to you in dreams.

Ontrillik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Ontrillik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Never feed parsnips to seals while wearing kilts.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Ontrillik on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.