Xemmifmis is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, overgenerous wolf.

Xemmifmis created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Xemmifmis, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemmifmis, it will turn you into a dog.

Xemmifmis' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Xemmifmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt nematodes.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never look at stars.