Bunvendoss Fagtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humorless unicorn.

Bunvendoss Fagtarg created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bunvendoss Fagtarg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bunvendoss Fagtarg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bunvendoss Fagtarg's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bunvendoss Fagtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine horses approach from the west.

2. Hide from violet hamsters for they are unholy.

3. You must love Bunvendoss Fagtarg.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

5. Always take life seriously.