Bitmipsad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic duck.

Bitmipsad created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitmipsad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bitmipsad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bitmipsad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bitmipsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about special relativity near great tits while wearing turquoise boots and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.

3. Erect five titanium sculptures of Bitmipsad on top of important buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.