Batkar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain frog.

Batkar created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batkar, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Batkar, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Batkar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Batkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Worship no other gods but Batkar.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never write about comets.