Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful chicken.

Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig, he will strike you with lightening.

Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Cantettikophapcisszengut Bedcabhig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.