Pasmonbifmanpanban is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, proud salamander.

Pasmonbifmanpanban created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasmonbifmanpanban, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pasmonbifmanpanban, it will ignore you.

Pasmonbifmanpanban's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Pasmonbifmanpanban's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pasmonbifmanpanban.

2. Never feed cucumbers to whales while wearing purple corsets.

3. Never think about gravity near manatees while wearing cyan shirts and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.