Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic cow.

Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen, it will turn you into a sheep.

Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Fashunxenrapgar Queegponjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never sprint near mice.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.