Quagfotshav is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful yak.

Quagfotshav created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagfotshav, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagfotshav, he will throw large rocks at you.

Quagfotshav's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Quagfotshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

2. Run away from black tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Quagfotshav loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.