Cibhivtail Tomfatcip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy frog.

Cibhivtail Tomfatcip created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Cibhivtail Tomfatcip, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cibhivtail Tomfatcip, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cibhivtail Tomfatcip's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cibhivtail Tomfatcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Cibhivtail Tomfatcip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away from blue snails, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about planets.