Hatnellbam is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish whale.

Hatnellbam created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatnellbam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hatnellbam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hatnellbam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hatnellbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Always help moths.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hatnellbam.

5. Never paint your arms yellow.