Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless frog.

Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig's Holy Commandments

1. Farnbigbestdon Timwiphig loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed coconuts to mice while wearing corsets.

4. Hide if eight hamsters approach from the north.

5. Never pour water over plants.