Arplamjam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast gerbil.

Arplamjam created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arplamjam, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arplamjam, he will think nothing of it.

Arplamjam's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Arplamjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never run in the presence of otters.

5. Always stare at clouds.