Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, deceitful dolphin.

Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar, she will destroy your home solar system.

Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Put Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar first in all things.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Sasstigfut Rotdamsadgar Ponflamcar on top of all buildings.

5. Never sing in the presence of otters.