Queeghaktag Camlib is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, able finch.

Queeghaktag Camlib created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeghaktag Camlib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Queeghaktag Camlib, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Queeghaktag Camlib's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Queeghaktag Camlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Queeghaktag Camlib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.