Spaggudstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate crab.

Spaggudstaf created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spaggudstaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spaggudstaf, she will make you grow a tail.

Spaggudstaf's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Spaggudstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. You must love Spaggudstaf.