Wipnabhak Tomlarphud is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wipnabhak Tomlarphud created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipnabhak Tomlarphud, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wipnabhak Tomlarphud, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wipnabhak Tomlarphud's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Wipnabhak Tomlarphud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.