Sitpang is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental walrus.

Sitpang created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitpang, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitpang, it will come to you in dreams.

Sitpang's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sitpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Run away if three voles approach from the west.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.