Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif, it will torture you forever.

Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sagtamkik Bamhunmidmif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your arms violet.

3. Hide from blue otters for they are unholy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must never eat lentils.