Tonhimkad is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane tapir.

Tonhimkad created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonhimkad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonhimkad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tonhimkad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tonhimkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Do not take Tonhimkad's name in vain.