Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful goblin.

Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan, it will torture you forever.

Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Hubtofyartvanyikdagbesttan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always take life seriously.