Flapmabwad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic fairy.

Flapmabwad created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Flapmabwad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapmabwad, it will turn you into a rat.

Flapmabwad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flapmabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Flapmabwad on top of all buildings.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Always wear purple.