Xinabmif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing eagle.

Xinabmif created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xinabmif, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Xinabmif, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Xinabmif's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Xinabmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta stockings.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never sprint near bats.