Wapvonkpod is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fussy hippopotamus.

Wapvonkpod created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wapvonkpod, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wapvonkpod, it will be very unhappy.

Wapvonkpod's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wapvonkpod's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Wapvonkpod's priests.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Do not hurt doves.