Konnurtrap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent zebra.

Konnurtrap created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Konnurtrap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Konnurtrap, he will strike you with lightening.

Konnurtrap's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Konnurtrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Konnurtrap.

3. Run away if eight cats approach from the north.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.