Arfquarttabbim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating wolf.

Arfquarttabbim created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfquarttabbim, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arfquarttabbim, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Arfquarttabbim's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Arfquarttabbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Run away if three foxes approach from the north.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Do not take Arfquarttabbim's name in vain.