Dublop Duthivsandsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective zebra.

Dublop Duthivsandsaf created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dublop Duthivsandsaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dublop Duthivsandsaf, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Dublop Duthivsandsaf's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dublop Duthivsandsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must pray to Dublop Duthivsandsaf nine times a day.