Sagkipnarlvanhim is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, selfish octopus.

Sagkipnarlvanhim created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagkipnarlvanhim, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sagkipnarlvanhim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Sagkipnarlvanhim's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Sagkipnarlvanhim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if six snails approach from the south.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sagkipnarlvanhim.

4. Hide from black great tits for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill hamsters.