Watpoplap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical swallow.

Watpoplap created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Watpoplap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Watpoplap, it will laugh at you.

Watpoplap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Watpoplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never paint your chest indigo.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.