Babjarnhap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, moody badger.

Babjarnhap created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babjarnhap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Babjarnhap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Babjarnhap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Babjarnhap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.