Tarcendiss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying human.

Tarcendiss created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarcendiss, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarcendiss, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tarcendiss' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tarcendiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never sing near pigs.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.