Dimyarpmid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-powerful snake.

Dimyarpmid created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimyarpmid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimyarpmid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dimyarpmid's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dimyarpmid's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing indigo rings.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Dimyarpmid's priests.