Vanwatnan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish spider.

Vanwatnan created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vanwatnan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vanwatnan, he will not care at all.

Vanwatnan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Vanwatnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always obey Vanwatnan's priests.