Begtettiloop is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair swan.

Begtettiloop created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtettiloop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begtettiloop, she will turn you into a plant.

Begtettiloop's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Begtettiloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Pray towards the south.