Dapgodnill is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish elephant.

Dapgodnill created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapgodnill, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dapgodnill, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dapgodnill's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dapgodnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never paint your arms mauve.