Yarparthug is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless dingo.

Yarparthug created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarparthug, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarparthug, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yarparthug's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Yarparthug's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of great tits.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide from blue shrews for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.