Bigbarnhog is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, passionate warg.

Bigbarnhog created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Bigbarnhog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bigbarnhog, he will cry a lot.

Bigbarnhog's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bigbarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dolphins while wearing magenta boots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.