Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, narcissistic hyena.

Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad, it will try to impress you with trees.

Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabflapbigwad Singepcutlad.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near swans while wearing orange dresses and balancing three iron spheres on your back.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.