Laknutbum is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional faun.

Laknutbum created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laknutbum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Laknutbum, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Laknutbum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Laknutbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Always wear white.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think ill of sick horses.