Tarkomfun Tinbodlag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, two-faced unicorn.

Tarkomfun Tinbodlag created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkomfun Tinbodlag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarkomfun Tinbodlag, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tarkomfun Tinbodlag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tarkomfun Tinbodlag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Never hurt swans.

5. Tarkomfun Tinbodlag loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.