Artgepkab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humorless goose.

Artgepkab created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artgepkab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Artgepkab, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Artgepkab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Artgepkab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about amino acids.