Nulcapyar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless mink.

Nulcapyar created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulcapyar, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nulcapyar, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Nulcapyar's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Nulcapyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always take life seriously.